Noir

I wish I could believe you, then I'd be alright. But now everything you told me really don't apply to the way I feel inside..

I've been through worse, I've gotten over worse, I've forgiven worse. But somehow I feel as though I have no reference point for this. It would be easy for me to be spiteful, nasty, cruel, and revengeful, probably even satisfying.. But I don't have it in me. It's not what I want to do, it's not who I want to be. All this time I've only wanted an explanation, an understanding, but I never expected an apology. I want to be able to say, "I forgive you" and mean it, and just go on with my life, but..

I'll always remember feeling like I was no good.

I'll always remember feeling used, I'll always remember feeling discarded, and I will always remember thinking, "Maybe you deserved it. Maybe you deserved it. Maybe, you deserved it. You deserved it. Maybe." I'll always remember feeling my heart drop, I'll always remember being lied straight to my face, I'll always remember being backstabbed, and betrayed. But..

I may never understand why. I'm doing the best that I can, and I..

I hope you've changed, for your own sake. I hope I can forgive you, for mine.

One day.

But now, I'm damn too full of resentment.

Resentment by Beyonce