There Goes The Sun

I imagine reflecting on my past as turning around after taking a long walk on the beach. Not to imply that life, particularly mine, is even remotely comparable to a stroll along the shore, but when I envision my past, I see foot steps left in the sand. One in front of the other, usually.

I hate looking back and seeing foot steps smudged along side each other, indicating steps taken backwards. The more I step backwards, the wider and deeper those footsteps become on the impressionable shore of my youthful life. They become the easiest to see, the most profound.

My biggest fear right now is becoming despondent. I'm desperately trying to blow at the embers of passion that still flicker in me, but with each storm my coals smolder less. My fire that once burned brightly, vividly and almost dangerously is slowly smoldering away. And I'm just afraid I don't have the fuel and wood to start them up again.

I hope I'll have the opportunity to look back on these tracks, and find that they are narrow, single file, and solitaire. Barely visible along the sandy shore.

Moderation

My well of sympathy for others is now completely and utterly dry.

To several:

No one cares anymore. No one cares what happened to you, who you lost, who fucked you over, your leg being amputated, your house burning down or your dog being abducted by aliens. All of your complaining, whining, bitching and moaning is in vain because you have demonstrated, time and time again, that you a. take ZERO accountability for anything that EVER happens in your life, and b. have ZERO intentions of making the necessary changes to improve your current situation.

Nothing is ever your fault, everything just happens to you. Give me a break.

And what's worse is instead of listening to the honest and sincere words of your 'friends', you cut them out as soon as their words don't mirror what you want to hear. The perfect way to stay stagnant in maturity and understanding is by surrounding yourself with simpleminded yes-men who condone and encourage your emotional and mental immaturity and foolishness.

I wish you all the best of luck.